omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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