haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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