I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
