I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
