loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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