She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
