if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
