It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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