but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
