i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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