Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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