i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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