you traded sex for a burrito?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
