she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
