you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize