you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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