The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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