i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize