I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
