Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
