but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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