I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
