so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize