i just made my gag reflex go away.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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