My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
