I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
