wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
