then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize