I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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