My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Fuck appropriateness.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
