yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
