I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
