I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need to calm my uterus...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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