Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
