Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
