I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
