Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
