why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize