Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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