i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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