Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
