the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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