I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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