you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
