yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
