You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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