Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
