id be glad to
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
