How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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