So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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