i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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