try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Text me some of your sweat
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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