whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
