shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
