Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
