so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
