I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
