He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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