If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
