I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
