what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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