The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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