so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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