OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
