Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just invented taco cereal.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
